For podcasters, especially of the indie variety, the grind of content creation and promotion never ends. Burnout is a very real threat and so is reaching the point where you want to dump your show in the podcast graveyard. I don't want you to ever be in the position where keeping your podcast alive means accepting the decline of your mental, emotional, and physical health, so I've put together a list of suggestions for implementing self-care specifically geared toward podcasters. Some of them may appeal to you, or none of them, but the overall message is this: Take care of yourself. If you need permission to stop working yourself into the ground and tend to your health and wellness, this is me giving it to you. Reward yourself I don't care what the task is that you have at hand, reward yourself for doing it. It could be as tedious as editing subtitles or as simple as updating your website. When you've finished your work for the day, find a way to celebrate it. This could be watching a television show, taking a hot shower, treating yourself to some ice cream, or deciding you won't open your email or social media for the rest of the night. You don't have to go out on the town every time you complete something, but you should always make sure you have something to look forward to for when you are finished. Create a fun workspace I'm not one of those people who can work in a place that feels sterile. If you are, then make it a priority to keep the space where you work on your podcast free of clutter. If you're like me, and you thrive on being surrounded by things that make you happy, then absolutely put Pokémon and anti-anxiety stickers on your computer, have a little teddy bear that sits on your desk, and hang up prints from your favorite comic strip or movie or artist. Even if you work somewhere that isn't yours to decorate, you can find a way to make yourself happy by using a notebook with a design you love or keeping your favorite type of pens and Post-It notes in stock. Just like above, this isn't about spending a lot of money, it's about doing something little (always using your favorite mug while you work!) that provides comfort or ease. Yoga for desk workers I'm a fan of yoga as a stress reliever in general, especially when I can do it in my house where no one can see if I look like an idiot or skip downward dog because it kills my hamstrings (fact: I almost always skip downward dog.) But when you're podcasting, so much of your work is naturally going to be sitting down. To help prevent my body from getting stiff or to rejuvenate it after I'm done working, I turn to these videos in particular (though YouTube is awash with alternatives): Yoga at Your Desk (Yoga with Adriene) Office Break Yoga (Yoga with Adriene) Street Yoga (Yoga with Adriene) Wrist-Free and Hands-Free Yoga (Live Fertile) Desk Yoga for Neck and Shoulders (SarahBethYoga) Schedule a show hiatus Not too long ago I wrote a post about how you deserve a break, preferably before you hit a point of injury in any way. One way to avoid having to suddenly stop because you simply can't take it anymore, is to plan ahead. Then tell your listeners it's happening. I've found that once you tell your listeners you're doing something, it's harder not to do it because - if you want to be a good host - you don't want to let your listeners down. So look ahead. Create a schedule for yourself in whatever way works for your style, but make sure it includes a break. Footnoting History almost always takes off the month of June. We air no new episodes. However, for me, my hiatus month is often July. I spend the month we aren't airing anything getting ahead on my various administration tasks. Then, when July hits, I have nothing to do put drop episodes out into the world...and write blog posts like this! People take vacations from other jobs, students get things like spring break, and television shows go on summer hiatus. You deserve to do the same thing, and you deserve to know when it's approaching so you can get excited for it. Read, watch, or listen - for fun I love "bad" television, like 90 Day Fiance. I love Stephanie Barron's Jane Austen Mysteries and Vaseem Khan's Baby Ganesh Agency Series. I love Disney music and showtunes and Delta Goodrem. None of these in any way have a tie to Footnoting History -- and I'm happy about it. You need to indulge in things that are in no way connected to your podcast. Give your brain a rest and recharge your creativity. Pick something you love doing and know it's okay to not work on your podcast 24/7. Ask for help If you work with someone else, and you're drowning under the load of it all, ask them for help. If you work solo, it's okay to bring in someone from the outside. Maybe a friend or acquaintance can help you answer those tweets, or read your script before you record. You are the most important part of your podcast, but you don't have to be the only part. (And if you ask someone, and they say no, ask someone else. You don't want help from someone who doesn't want to give it.) Drink lots of water I know this is something people go on about all the time and isn't always received well, but hydration is essential for podcasting. It keeps you alert and functioning and it's incredibly important for your voice. You don't ever want to record with dry mouth. You may love coffee or juice or wine, but if you really want to take care of your body - and, as I said, your voice - you'll drink water all the time. My favorite way to do this is to keep a filled water bottle or mug on my desk at all times. As soon as it's empty, I refill it. If I always have it in view, I'm more likely to reach for it. Motivational Meditation Imposter Syndrome is real, so very real. Apps like Insight Timer can help with that. Guided meditation, in general, is something I turn to when I'm feeling anxious or stressed, but it's also great with Imposter Syndrome - and who doesn't need help there? Empowering guided meditations can be a great way to get your own negative voice to go quiet, while someone else pumps you up by inserting the positive, reaffirming thoughts that will serve you better. If meditation isn't your thing (and I get that), you should still consider doing some deep breathing. If you give it a chance it will calm you down and help you center yourself. Taking a few minutes to focus on your breath and connect with your body can power you up for a long time. Need some help with it? You can visit the Calm website here - it literally tells you when to inhale and exhale. The simple, steady rhythm will work wonders if you let it. Focus on topics you love If you are not enthusiastic about a topic, don't choose to cover it. You're doing yourself a favor if you don't tie yourself to topics that don't genuinely interest you. You're doing your listeners a favor too, because listening to a bored host is a real snooze fest. Not all self-care means not working. Sometimes it means working on the things you want and like as often as you can. And, if you're a podcaster who has a chronological narrative you need to stick to, yes I know you probably won't love every single point along the way. I don't mean that you need to skip that time period or person or event, but try to find a way to spin it to be about something you do like. You may have to cover the 1700s but historically not love that century. Maybe, though, you love theater or sports. Use those as your lens to that period. Even if it's still not your favorite, at least you'll be approaching it in a way that is less painful. Take a bath or shower Stepping away from your podcasting duties even just for the few minutes it takes to let the water wash over you and soothe your muscles can go a long, long way to making you feel refreshed. You deserve to have that time alone, just you and the water. You might be surprised by how much it relaxes you and helps your brain find its ability to work again. Say no I firmly believe that if you promise something, you should deliver it. But I also believe that you don't have to do everything. Sometimes self-care means turning down a project. You want to promote your podcast, right? But that doesn't mean you have to do every guest spot, write every article, or add every requested topic and feature to your to-do list. If the idea of adding to your workload makes your stress levels spike or the hair on the back of your neck stand up, you should probably say, no. There may be a better time for these things in the future, and if you handle it in a kind and professional way, opportunities might circle back to you. Do you make time for self-care? What are your favorite ways to take care of yourself? I'm sure I missed many options, so definitely let me know your favorites! Lead Image by whoalice-moore from Pixabay. Closing Image by StockSnap from Pixabay.

Every person who grows up to become a historian, arrives in the field in a unique way. However, no matter when they get there or how, there are usually signs along the way that indicate and deep and abiding love for history. For me (and I suspect for many others) there were signs all along the way, largely from the elements of pop culture (movies, novels, games, musicals, etc.) that made my heart happy and my mind curious. Below, I share 10 non-academic things I loved in my formative pre-historian-podcaster years (and are still near and dear to me now). I think you will quickly see the ties between the interests of my younger self and the history work of my adult self. If you're not familiar with any of these works of art, I hope you'll be moved to check them out and see if they inspire you too. But most of all I hope they get you thinking about all the things that influenced your love of history. Disney's Newsies In 1992, Disney released Newsies, a movie musical about a strike of New York newsboys in the summer of 1899. Family lore says states that when my mother took me to see it (I was 7 when it was released), I was so still that she thought I'd fallen asleep. When she looked over to check on me, she saw that I was actually just completely taken by the film. To this day, Newsies is my favorite live-action movie (Spot Conlon was one of my first crushes), but it also stoked my love of history. I couldn't get enough of the fact that this was based on true events that happened in my beloved New York, almost 100 years earlier. Child of the Silent Night (Edith Hunter Fisher) Child of the Silent Night was already decades old when I was a child, and I don't remember exactly how it fell into my hands for the first time, but it was one of my first introductions to biography, which is still my favorite method of historical storytelling. This book told the story of Laure Bridgman, the first formally educated deaf-blind person in the United States. I had heard of Helen Keller, who hadn't? But I knew nothing about Laura. I was in grade school and could not put this book down. I devoured the story of how she overcame obstacles and learned to communicate in a period when deaf-blind people were not given the opportunities they deserved. Yes, it was watered down for children, but this book and a children's biography of Harry Houdini were in my regular reading rotation for years. I was fascinated by books that followed the life of one person through all of its phases and allowed me to view time periods and historical events through their eyes. In 2014, I brought Laura's story to Footnoting History listeners with an episode about her. You can hear it here, or get it in a captioned version here. Number the Stars (Lois Lowry) My earliest memory of this book is reading it in the bath tub and crying and knowing that I was crying because it was so good. Published in 1989, Number the Stars is probably the book that made me truly fall in love with historical fiction. The red cover featuring a photograph of a blonde girl with haunted eyes behind a necklace of a Jewish star is permanently embedded in my mind's eye. Set in Europe during World War II, it focuses on a young girl named Annemarie and her best friend Ellen, whose family has already seen one daughter (named Lise) die at the hands of the Nazis. I wept and reread it more times than I could count, and I was entranced by Lise: this brave girl whose work in the resistance lost her her life. I knew it was purely fictional, but that the war was very real and very terrible, and was so impressed by how real it made the era feel to me. It was my introduction to that era, and one which showed me the power of fiction to spark an interest in a historical period. American Girl American Girl is a line of books, dolls, and accessories that (in my childhood, it has since expanded) featured girls around the age of 10 living at different times in American history. Back in my day, there were four girls featured: Felicity (1774), Kirsten (1854), Samantha (1904), and Molly (1944.) Soon, Addy (1864) was added. Samantha was the first American Girl I "met", when I was given the doll and her book set for Christmas one year. I don't think I knew what American Girl was before she came to my house - and yes, I still have her. Like me, she was a brunette who was from New York, only she was from 1904 - a year not far off from my beloved Newsies. I liked Samantha, but as I read every book about every girl, I really loved Kirsten and Felicity (I suspect now that it was largely because they were from an even more distant time.) I even wrote a fan letter to Janet Shaw, who authored Kirsten's books, to tell how wonderful her books were. This year, as American Girl celebrates its 35th anniversary, I have been re-reading the original series and its extremely evident why they spoke to me: the girls were an understandable window into their time periods, and I learned about things as they did. Plus, after each story the books contained a few pages explaining how people lived in that day and the actual history involved in the narrative. Yes, these were simple versions of complex events, and I think some of them would be written differently if they came out now, but in the early 1990s they did a great job of introducing me to a variety of areas of American history (and I'd be lying if I didn't say Felicity's books were part of what eventually amped me up to first visit Colonial Williamsburg.) Disney's Pocahontas It is no secret that the story of Pocahontas portrayed in the Disney classic is not accurate. Disney itself even admitted that. Of all the things listed in this post, Pocahontas shows most sharply that I was going to be a historian in the future. Why? Because I was enraged over its lack of historical accuracy. How much of Pocahontas' story I actually knew at the age of 10 I'm not sure, but I definitely knew she wasn't a grown woman who had romantic tension with John Smith, and I was very upset at Disney for spreading lies. So, what did I do? With my mom's encouragement (thanks, mom!) I wrote a letter to Disney airing my grievances. To Disney's credit - I actually got a response! That Disney replied to me (I have to find the letter, but I believe it said they were going for the spirit of Pocahontas in a family-friendly way) was a big deal. The film became my favorite Disney animated feature, because I can take it for what it is (history-inspired fiction) and hope it leads people to learn about the historical Pocahontas. To help, in 2020, I did an entire episode of Footnoting History about the real Pocahontas. You can hear it here, or get it with captions here. Les Misérables (Musical) I talk about Les Misérables fairly regularly. I've publicly covered the film adaptation of the musical on Footnoting History (available here) and discussed the stage musical in depth on the podcast Thank You, Five (available here and here), but privately I've been warbling on about it since late 1995/early 1996. Living in New York, the image of Cosette was everywhere, and I often joked with my parents about why she looked so sad. Then the 10th Anniversary Concert (from Britain) aired on PBS and my brain exploded. It was pure, magnificent, history-inspired perfection. It drove me to read children's versions of the novel, then abridged versions, then the real one, and I saw the musical for the first time on July 6, 1996. Then I saw it again, and again, and again. It threw me head first into my love of French history, I immediately had to recognize its complexity. I remember in 7th or 8th grade I had to write a paper comparing a book to a movie. I picked Les Misérables. My teacher went for it. It only encouraged my love of the country and period. The Many Lives and Secret Sorrows of Josephine B. (Sandra Gulland) Sandra Gulland is the primary reason I ended up with an all-engulfing love of Napoleonic history, but without being fixated on Napoleon himself. Since her trio of novels about Josephine Bonaparte follows her life - including the parts he wasn't in - I didn't enter into Napoleonic France through him. I entered it through Josephine and Hortense and all the others who orbited around him. Since the day I began reading these books my heart has belonged in this era. I gobbled up any and all information I could find about it, and I still do. No matter how my attention strayed or what other periods I find interesting, this is where my heart lives and the Josephine trilogy started it all. (I spread my love of the Bonapartes and their period in French History on Footnoting History all the time, which you can find here.) Titanic (Musical) In 1997, when most of my friends were swooning over the film Titanic (which I enjoyed, too), I was swooning over the Broadway musical with its score by Maury Yeston. The film and the musical, I must note, have nothing to do with each other aside from both dramatizing the same tragic event. If Les Miserables made me love historical literature on stage, Titanic made my heart melt with soaring melodies and emotional numbers that reflected the lives of the people aboard the ship - many of which were based on actual historic persons. The songs are everything to me. They depict things like the awe of seeing the ship, passengers ruminating about their dreams of a better life in America, a stoker questioning the choices of those above him, and the ship's designer - knowing full well his death is imminent - envisioning how he could had designed it better. As a young teen I loved to (annoyingly) tell people how the stage musical was better than the movie because of its focus on real people, and I spent hours reading up about the Titanic because of it - and yes, of course, going to an exhibition when it was possible. The Scarlet Pimpernel (Musical) I was already interested in France and French history thanks to numbers 6 and 8 on this list, but The Scarlet Pimpernel musical put me over the edge. Based on the novel by Baroness Orczy (which I had neither heard of nor read at the time), the Frank Wildhorn musical opened on Broadway in 1997. Of course, I wanted to see it, and of course I was hooked. Here was a piece on yet another aspect of French history! I'd already gotten into the mid-19th century and the Bonaparte era, but Pimpernel added depth to my interest in the actual French Revolution. Though it has taken on several different forms since it originally opened in New York, the original (usually called 1.0) will forever be my favorite. It put the terror (and Terror) of the Revolution right in front of me, and once I heard 'Madame Guillotine', forget it. I felt like the musical was made just for me and it only furthered my love of history and the many ways that history can be portrayed to introduce the public to fascinating topics. Here Be Dragons (Sharon Kay Penman) Although Here Be Dragons was released when I was a child, I didn't read it until shortly after my senior year of high school when a friend gave it to me as a present for my 18th birthday. At this point my adoration of history was well-established, and I was already poised to enter college with history as my primary major (I was also majoring in math but that's a different conversation). Here Be Dragons and the two books that come after it, are set in medieval England and Wales and specifically explore the relationship between the Welsh Princes and the English royal family. I can say that without a doubt, this trilogy is the reason that when I started college I was upset my original college had very little in the way of medieval history. So, how did I handle that? I changed colleges, started at Fordham, and ended up focusing the rest of my education on medieval England. My forte ended up being the 12th-century reign of Henry II, in no small part due to other Penman books, When Christ and His Saints Slept and Time and Chance, so to call her my gateway to the middle ages is not an understatement. Now that you know what influenced me, I want to know -- what influenced you?

When I first entered the podcasting world with Footnoting History back in 2013, there were a lot of things I was well aware that I didn't know: audio editing, pacing, the nuances of social media marketing, etc. But podcasting is built on so much more than technical know-how and cultivated talent. Over the years I have been taught lessons time and time again that I never expected. Here, in a brief list, are some of them. I hope by reading the lessons I've learned, you will either avoid learning them the hard way yourself or be happy to discover you are not alone. If you have learned any unexpected lessons from your time in the podcasting trenches, feel free to share them in the comments section below - or to tweet them to me @mynameispurpose. I'd love to hear from you. Popularity rankings on websites and apps (like Apple Podcasts, etc.) don't mean as much as you'd like them to. When Footnoting History began we had numerous times where we appeared in the Top 10 History Podcasts on iTunes (Apple Podcasts wasn't a thing back in 2013). As time marched on, our numbers of subscribers and individual listeners grew and grew. But other podcasts were also created. Many of them were created by commercial producers and/or celebrities. Despite our growth, we fell down in the rankings. Soon, I realized: it doesn't matter. Some sites/apps don't release how they even calculate their rankings, so why should we trust them? And how can an indie podcast compare to a commercial one created by a corporation? As long as we continue growing, I am happy. Getting hung up on rankings does nothing to help you remain level-headed. Someone will hate you, and that's okay. It took eight years before someone left a review of Footnoting History that explicitly stated I (well, my speaking voice) was the reason they were unsubscribing. To me, this meant I'd made it. If you're a podcaster, like it or not, you are a public figure. All public figures have people who love them and people who hate them. I always knew this to be true and I expected that I would be told this, but I didn't expect to be amused when it happened. I've already talked about how no one likes a bad review, but with this one I learned that it doesn't always have to be upsetting. It made me feel entertained that someone disliked the sound of my voice so much that they needed to tell me. Reminding yourself that you can't make everyone happy (and, even, thinking about the public figures you can't stand) will go a long way to helping you find those harsh moments less awful. People really are listening. I used to look at our numbers and think they were fun, but it didn't truly grasp what it meant until people started directly telling me that they listened. It's easy to feel disconnected from your listeners, because the vast majority of them might never contact you at all, but when you do get contact - negative, like I mentioned above, or positive - it will really hit home that someone (or many someones!) is out there and they are listening and you are being heard. You will not like every other podcaster you come across - you might even loathe some of them. The podcasting community grows every day. Many people in it are delightful, positive, supportive, and fun. Some are decidedly not. They might be users or do bad scholarship or have ego issues. We all enter this world with varying degrees of rose-colored glasses on, but eventually they come off and - guess what - you won't love everyone, and you don't have to. Better yet, you get to choose how you interact with them, if you do at all. Sure, sometimes you have to be professionally polite because interactions with certain people who cover similar things to you will be inevitable. But you don't have to like everyone, you shouldn't be expected to, and since you are your own boss, you can choose not to interact with someone if doing so results in a negative experience. Your goals will change. I didn't have too many goals when Footnoting History started. I wanted a place to show off my research and talk about things I loved. Then I wanted to establish myself as good at what I do. Then I wanted to hit certain benchmarks for our statistics. Then I wanted to write about podcasting. Then I wanted to increase accessibility, and sell merch, and try a series of episodes instead of a one-off. Who you are as a podcaster and what you want from the medium will change. That's okay. Growth is good. And if the medium stops serving you, you don't have to stay with it. Your outside goals may change, too. That's okay. You know more than you think you do, and you are capable of learning what you don't. I thought I had no idea what a podcast was or what people would want to hear, but listeners came and I was told when people liked what I did. I realized, hey, I can do this. Impostor Syndrome is real. It will pop up every so often. But I promise, you know more about what you're doing than you realize now. As to that second point: I hate audio editing. I never had any interest in doing it. Then a time came when I had to. Was I perfect at it? No. Did I learn to do it so the episode got out on time? I did. I had never created a newsletter before, or used Pinterest, or captioned a YouTube video. But now I do them all. You can, too. You may make mistakes along the way, but that's fine, too. You'll get there. You can learn whatever you need to learn to make it work. You cannot make someone change who doesn't want to do it. This is a lesson that sometimes I have still not learned perfectly. We all want to believe the people we work with are doing their best, are considerate, are pulling their weight, and care about the process and the product to the same level that we do. This will not always be the case. If you are working with others, you may discover this faster than if you don't, but there will be times - since few podcasters are truly in a vacuum - where others disappoint you. You will have to find your people, but when you find them it will be good. Your work will make someone's day. Remember how I said people are listening but you may not know it? One or more of them is really looking forward to your newest episode or to digging into your archive. I didn't think this was true until people started telling me, but since they won't always tell you, I'm here to do it: I believe that everything put out in the world has someone who absolutely loves it and declares it their favorite thing, and that means listening to your podcast is someone's favorite way to spend their time. Keep creating. Someone can't wait for it.

When the pandemic began in 2020, I realized that one of the first things to change for me was my ability to read. If I was reading for work, I was fine, but reading for pleasure - especially fiction - became incredibly difficult. Novels I knew I would love and devour in other times took me months to get through because my brain was elsewhere. Then, with my self-imposed Goodreads reading challenge looking more and more like I would never reach it, I remembered all the plays I owned. So I started reading (or re-reading) them. It was wonderful. This list is 21 plays that I think can be read and enjoyed to the same level as they are seen and enjoyed. Right now, with live theatre scarce for health and safety reasons, it's a great time to pick up a play script and have a read. They're shorter than novels, but they definitely engage the imagination. Whether you're looking for something different to shake up your reading or, like me, need to turn to shorter pieces due to your inability to focus, plays are a great choice. Every play on this list is relatively contemporary (late 1900s through 2000s) and I tried to encompass a wide variety of tastes, and they are all plays that I loved. I hope you find something that sparks your interest. 1. 33 Variations (Moisés Kaufman) A musicologist named Katherine Brandt is researching Beethoven's 33 Variations on a Waltz (aka the Diabelli Variations) while also dealing with the deterioration of her health and her fractured relationship with her daughter. Told in two timelines, the modern plot is supplemented by one in which Beethoven is creating the 33 Variations that Brandt is studying. One of my favorite aspects of this play is the exploration of the relationship between scholars and their subjects. 2. Behind the Beautiful Forevers (David Hare, adapted from Katherine Boo) Behind the Beautiful Forevers is based on a book by journalist Katherine Boo who spent several years recording stories of the lives of people living in a Mumbai slum next to an airport. Hare's play cannot cover the same scope as the book, but it does a great job of creating a layered look at the hopes and dreams (realized and dashed) as well as the realities (touching and painful) of life in the area. 3. Chinglish (David Henry Hwang) When a white American businessman tries to expand his sign-making business into China, he quickly learns that communication and translation aren't simple things. Chinglish uses a combination of English and Mandarin Chinese to emphasize the humor that often emerges from two very different cultures trying to work together (though you don't have to have any knowledge of Mandarin to understand what's going on, since much of the humor comes from moments of questionable translation and misunderstanding). This east-meets-west culture clash is a good read for anyone, but people with an interest in languages and communication should find it particularly appealing. 4. Choir Boy (Tarell Alvin McCraney) Choir Boy tells the story of Pharus, a young gay man attending a prep school with a reputation for producing well-educated, ethical Black men. Although Pharus is incredibly talented and an obvious choice to lead the school's famous choir, not a lot of his classmates accept him for who he is. Gospel music, performed by the cast, is used throughout the play. (I genuinely wish you could hear them while you read!) The result is an incredibly moving look at what it means to be 'different' and to find appreciation, as well as what exactly defines being a man. 5. Coram Boy (Helen Edmundson, adapted from Jamila Gavin) Based on a (pretty dark) children's novel by Jamila Gavin, Coram Boy is a play that I've always wanted to see turned into a mini series. It has multiple narrative threads including one about a man whose job is to take babies and drop them off at the Coram Hospital for foundling children, another about an illegitimate child from a wealthy family, and a third about a young boy saved from a slave ship. Set in 1700s Britain, Coram Boy is a true historical epic. 6. Eclipsed (Danai Gurira) This play is set in Liberia during the Second Liberian Civil War (c 1999 - c 2003). Although the actions of men cast major shadows over the play, no men appear in it. Instead, the cast contains five very different women: one who is working for a peace organization and four who are "wives" of a Commanding Officer that never appears on stage. The result is a fantastic and heart-wrenching tapestry of women doing their best to survive and make sense of situations they did not choose for themselves. 7. The Ferryman (Jez Butterworth) The Ferryman is a drama set in the early 1980s in Northern Ireland, during the period of the Troubles. It takes place primarily in the Carney family farmhouse, but the cast is large and the scope of the drama is larger as strangers arrive and a dead body is found. Politics, history, violence, and family all converge in this multi-generational mammoth piece. (Oh, and yes, there are a few laughs and a fun celebratory family dance scene among all the heavy chats.) 8. God of Carnage (Yasmina Reza) This French play (translated into English) centers around a meeting between two sets of parents after the child of one couple hits the child of the other couple with a stick. With only the four parents as characters in the play, and all of it taking place in one room, it isn't long before a civilized conversation about the conduct of children turns into something much more intense that reveals everything the adults usually keep behind closed doors. 9. The History Boys (Alan Bennett) Without question, this is my favorite play. It centers around a group of boys preparing for the entrance exams to hopefully get them into either Oxford or Cambridge in the 1980s. If you've seen the film (which included Dominic Cooper, James Corden, Jamie Parker, and Richard Griffiths - the same cast as the original production that started in the UK and ended on Broadway) or heard the radio play version, you should still read the play: there are significant differences. The relationships of boys with each other, the teachers with each other, and the boys with the teachers are complex and nuanced. There is humor as well as tragedy, and the discussions about the point and use of knowledge and history are top notch. (The French scene is a serious classic.) 10. I am My Own Wife (Doug Wright, based on Charlotte von Mahlsdorf) Based on the true story of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf. I am My Own Wife is a one-person play that depicts Charlotte's life as a trans woman who survived the Nazis and communist East Berlin while working as an antiquarian. Although, yes, there is only one performer in the play, it contains over thirty characters, they're just all performed by the same person. Charlotte's autobiography has the same title, and is widely available. 11. In the Next Room, or the Vibrator Play (Sarah Ruhl) In the Next Room is an alternately touching and amusing piece of historical fiction set in the late 1800s. It tells the story of Dr. Givings, a man who treats women suffering from 'hysteria' using an early version of a vibrator, while his wife Catherine is kept at arm's length even though she wants to have a closer relationship with him. 12. King Charles III (Mike Bartlett) What will happen when Prince Charles becomes King Charles III? That is the central question in this modern play, written in verse and set in a non-specific future. It posits a time when King Charles, concerned that a proposed new law will restrict the freedom of the press too much, considers withholding royal assent. This sparks conflict with Parliament, questions about the role of the monarchy in Britain, and conversations that dig into possible behind-the-scenes family dynamics. (The play was written before Prince Harry's marriage to Meghan Markle, now Duchess of Sussex, and so while he is in it, his love interest character is not based on the Duchess.) There is a television film adaptation of the play and a radio play version, but as with the others on this list, I suggest reading the play first. If you want to really get in the mood, the music used in the play was released as an album. 13. The Little Dog Laughed (Douglas Carter Beane) A wonderful send up of Hollywood, acting and relationships, The Little Dog Laughed tells the story of a Hollywood agent, her in-the-closet client, his secret rent boy love interest, and the secret rent boy's girlfriend. The comedy is all over here, grounded almost entirely in language as opposed to physicality (which is what makes it so fun to read) and it never fails to make me laugh. Plus, it has some monologues/speeches that are absolutely perfect. 14. Mauritius (Theresa Rebeck) Mauritius is a play about sisters and stamps. When a pair of half-sisters come into an inheritance that includes a stamp collection, deciding what to do with the stamps causes friction. The title comes from the name of a specific, very valuable stamp. The power struggle between the sisters and the questionable intentions of those who want to procure the stamps make up the majority of this work. The scenes between the half-sisters are particularly interesting. 15. Oslo (J.T. Rogers) Based on a true story, Oslo takes a look at the work of Norwegian diplomat and her husband as they try to broker peace between Israeli and Palestinian leaders in the early 1990s. It's on the longer end of the plays on this list, but it's well dramatized and a great gateway to the history of this period. 16. Other Desert Cities (Jon Robin Baitz) Like several others on this list, Other Desert Cities, is about family and the secrets they keep. Here, on Christmas Eve in Palm Springs, Brooke Wyeth throws her family into turmoil when she shows them that she has written a tell-all memoir. 17. Outside Mullingar (John Patrick Shanley) Anthony and Rosemary grew up on neighboring farms in Ireland. He is shy and retiring while she is forthright. Their families are close, but there remains one problem: Rosemary's family owns a tiny piece of land that sits between the road and Anthony's family farm. This means that in order to enter their land, Anthony's family has to open and go through two gates every time, something that severely detracts from the value of the property. Over the course of this heartwarming and witty play you learn why the piece of land belongs to Rosemary's family and what it has to do with the relationship between the two lead characters. (This play was recently adapted to a film called Wild Mountain Thyme, but in my opinion the play is a very different creature, and a much better one, though the film is entertaining.) 18. The Pillowman (Martin McDonagh) Katurian Katurian is the author of stories in which children are regularly on the receiving end of violence or murder. When someone begins murdering children in ways reminiscent to his stories, he is arrested and interrogated about his writing and possible connection to the crimes. The exchanges about what it means to be an author are, in my opinion, brilliant, and this is my second favorite play of all time, but please note, this play is unapologetically very dark. It is definitely not for everyone. 19. Stick Fly (Lydia R. Diamond) Stick Fly is a family drama set in the Martha's Vineyard home of the LeVays, an affluent Black family. When the two LeVay brothers bring home their respective girlfriends (one a Black woman who is an academic and the other a white woman who works with children from the inner city), things don't go as planned. Many issues the family never about can no longer be avoided and serious topics like race, privilege, and deep-buried family secrets are tackled amidst the ample amounts of humor. (I still quote this play to my family on occasion even though it's been a few years since I revisited it.) 20. Sweat (Lynn Nottage) Workers at a steel mill in Pennsylvania at the start of the 21st century learn that loyalty and hard work don't always get you far when your company is reorganizing. As the prospect of layoffs grows and fears increase that they will be replaced with non-union employees, tempers burn and personalities clash. 21. Translations (Brian Friel) It's 1833 in an Irish-speaking region of County Donegal, Ireland, and an ordinance survey is being conducted by the English-speaking Royal Engineers that includes translating all the place names into English. Translations is certainly about language, the love of your own and the fear of losing it, and identity, but it is also about people...and it contains what is, in my opinion, one of the sweetest romance scenes I've ever encountered- and the two characters involved can't understand a word each other is saying.

The end of the year usually brings with it a lot of lists proclaiming to gather the Best Of something, and in recent years this has increasingly begun to include podcasts. I admit, I always check these lists just like I read tweets and reviews of podcasts, because I like to know what listeners think - but I always end up thinking about how I also want to know what podcasters think. To find out, I went where I always go, social media. I tweeted to the community of history podcasters and asked them to tell me their favorite episode of their own show. Since no one (really, no one) will ever be a harsher critic of a podcast than its creator, and the process of making an episode is very different from the experience of listening to one, a podcaster is bound to have a unique view of their content. In response to my tweet I received a great array of submissions. I have not vetted the episodes submitted (though, naturally, I said they could not contain anything hateful), nor will I comment on them. My only objective here is to provide you, dear Reader, with a pure list so that you can either find new history podcasts to enjoy or return to episodes you've already heard with a new perspective created by the knowledge that the podcaster loves it. May you listen to many new things and discover all sorts of joys. And, to the podcasters who tweeted to me with your episodes: thank you for all the hard work you do creating content. I know how hard you work and I am happy to lift you up whenever I have the opportunity. Podcasters' Favorite Episodes Abridged Presidential Histories (Abridged Presidential Histories on Twitter) Andrew Jackson 1829-1837 Advent of Computing (AdventofComputing.com) JOVIAL, The Evolution of Programming Ancient History Fangirl (AncientHistoryFangirl.com) Jenny: Fulvia: Original Gangster of Ancient Rome Genn: Dionysus: Religion of Revolution Ancient History Hound (AncientBlogger.com) Eclipses in Antiquity Ballsy History (BallsyHistory.Fireside.fm) Cereal Wars British History: Royals, Rebels, and Romantics (CarolAnnLloyd.com) Tudor Queens and Coronations Can't Make This Up History (Can't Make This Up History on Twitter) Hidden Habits of Genius with Craig Wright, PhD Casting Through Ancient Greece (CastingThroughAncientGreece.com) 300 Against the Sources The Dad Bod History Podcast (Dad Bod History on Twitter) Historical Bar Fights, I: Who's in Your Five? and II: Ladies Night Dear World, Love History (DearWorldLoveHistory.com) Jack the Ripper Deep into History (Deep into History on Twitter) Versus I: The Eagles of Jupiter Enchanted (EnchantedPodcast.net) A Desirable Disaster Footnoting History (FootnotingHistory.com) Elizabeth: Cemeteries: Part I, East View Cemetery and Part II, Washington Park Cemetery Christine: Bonapartes in America: Jerome and Elizabeth Lucy: Desert Queens? Women at the Edges of Empire from Hester Stanhope to Gertrude Bell Kristin: The Life and Travels of Newport Gardner Josh: William Miller and the Great Disappointment The French History Podcast (TheFrenchHistoryPodcast.com) French History Myths with the Fake History Hunter, Jo Teeuwisse Godward (Godward on YouTube) Josephus on War, Identity, and God's Favor Halfwit History (Halfwit History on Twitter) Dr. Mae Jemison Historical AF (HistoricalAFPodcast.com) Ahhhh Real Monsters & Underwater Area 51 History Machine (HistoryMachinePodcast.com) Sulla History of Sex (HistoryofSexPod.com) The First Intersex in Colonial America History of the Second World War (HistoryoftheSecondWorldWar.com) HMS Warspite Human Circus: Journeys in the Medieval World (HumanCircusPodcast.com) Ibn Fadlan 1: From Baghdad with Very Cold Beards The Imagine Alba Podcast (ImagineAlba.com) A Highland Clearance: The Ballad of Arichonan, Part I and Part II Long May She Reign (Long May She Reign on Twitter) Sacagawea MythTake (MythTake.blog) MythTake at the Movies: Wonder Woman Operation History (Operation History on Twitter) The First Thanksgiving The Partial Historians (PartialHistorians.com) Livia Drusilla Plodding Through the Presidents (PloddingThroughthePresidents.com) Gouverneur Morris and the Vampire of Bizarre Pontifacts (Pontifacts.Podbean.com) Pope Fabian Scandalous! (ScandalousPod.com) The Affair of the Poisons Spartan History (SpartanHistoryPodcast.com) In the Footsteps of Heroes Wittenberg to Westphalia (WittenbergtoWestphaliaPodcast.weebly.com) Softball

The fight for the arts to be taken seriously and valued by wider audiences to the same level as they are by those who create art has been going on since time immemorial. Nevertheless it always strikes me to the core when I come across someone from the past expressing the same concerns that many of us do in the present. Recently, I was researching Jessie Bonstelle for a monologue I was writing for the 365 Women a Year’s Women in Theatre History Monologue Collection. Prior to being assigned Ms Bonstelle as a subject, I confess that I was not familiar with her career, but more people should be: it’s fabulous. Born in 1871, Ms Bonstelle's career included performing as a stage actress (her credits included appearing in The Lady from Oklahoma in New York in 1913), producing, directing, and founding the Detroit Civic Theatre in Michigan. She was so dedicated to the theater that when she died in 1932 a largely-attended memorial service was held for her in the Detroit Civic Theatre prior to her funeral service. The year before she passed away, Ms Bonstelle responded to a letter from a Miss Josephine Ball of Ann Arbor, Michigan regarding the state of theater and the arts as a whole. I came across this wonderful letter thanks to the Detroit Historical Society (and you can see it for yourself here) and it inspired both the monologue I just submitted to the project and this post. You see, Miss Ball was concerned about a few things. She wanted to know if the invention of the talkies (talking motion pictures, now usually just called movies or films) would make the stage disappear, why actors and actresses were leaving the stage for the screen, and whether or not the “masses” would ever be “well enough educated to enable producers to make really worthwhile films.” These were all valid questions to ask in a time when how the arts were consumed was changing and they are ones that people might have asked in some variation when television and, later, the internet further altered the landscape of entertainment. Ms Bonstelle’s answers are clear, her opinions strong, and her words to the point. No, she does not think that the talkies will ever cause the demise of the stage (thank God, says this theater lover.) As for why actors and actresses leave the stage for the screen, she frankly informs Miss Ball that the screen offers something the stage cannot: a hefty paycheck. Thespians may leave the stage for higher salaries, but Ms Bonstelle believes many of them do it so that they can build up a good amount of money and then return to the stage with the ability to pick and choose the plays in which they appear. When one has financial comfort, after all, one has the luxury of being able to be selective without worrying that not taking a job will cause you to be unable to pay your rent or put food on the table. But the most striking part of Ms Bonstelle’s reply, to me, was her commentary on the type of films and plays produced and their relation to the so-called masses. She believed that both films and theater had an important place but their neither was able to live up to its truest protentional because audiences preferred the "cheap" and "inconsequential" to the "best." (This comment made me think about what constitutes good musical theater - and particularly the debate over the place and value of jukebox musicals and musical adaptations of films compared to musicals based on entirely original concepts.) Ms Bonstelle, goes on to speculate that the problem of "cheap" and "inconsequential" being the major preference of audiences might originate from education, both in schools and at home. She said: Too much attention is paid to giving young people business educations, to the exclusion of art education. When in reality both are needed. A man who is all business and has no appreciation of music, art or drama, is a dull prodding person with little inspiration and remains, a Prodder unnecessarily. Upon reading this I could not help but wonder what Ms Bonstelle would think of the current state of arts education and appreciation. Would she say that things have gotten better or have they gotten worse? And how, would she suggest, do we help people shed their status of being dull prodders and open them to the wonders of performance? If it is a question that has never been answered before, can it even be answered now? We can only hope the answer is yes. Sources: Letter from Jessie Bonstelle to Miss Josephine Ball, November 1931 via Detroit Historical Society Jessie Bonstelle, via Internet Broadway Database Jessie Bonstelle Obituary, via New York Times Jessie Bonstelle, via Library of Congress Historic Scrapbooks, Volume 6, via Central Library of Rochester and Monroe County

There are few people in the academic world as resilient and resourceful as the independent scholar. I say this not because I am one (though I am), but because I have had the pleasure of working with a group of independent scholars over the last two years who were willing to be vulnerable and, in being vulnerable, opened my eyes to exactly what it means to work outside traditional academia. Each independent scholar I encountered shared a deeply personal story that both resonated with me (“I suffer from impostor syndrome too!”, “Yes! Information access is such an issue!”) and broadened my understanding of the experiences of others (I had no way of knowing what it is like, for example, to be a Black and/or disabled scholar.) I woke up every day happy to check my email or open the latest chapter I was sent and learn more about what it was that brought us all together and yet also made us all stand apart as unique scholars. This year, for Thanksgiving, I want to express my gratitude to every single person involved, because the reason I am so sure our work together will touch others is because of how much it touched me. The project that caused this collaboration was Independent Scholars Meet the World: Expanding Academia beyond the Academy. It’s a collection of deeply personal essays that I co-edited with Elizabeth Keohane-Burbridge (one of my best friends and the founder of our podcast, Footnoting History) for the University Press of Kansas series Rethinking Careers, Rethinking Academia, spearheaded by Joe Fruscione and Erin Bartram and shepherded by Joyce Harrison. The origin story for it is very 2010s: in 2018, I was scrolling through Twitter instead of doing work and saw the call for proposals tweeted by Joe. Up until this point, my relationship with him consisted mostly of gif exchanges and good-natured mocking baseball banter (he is a Nationals fan and I am a Mets fan.) The words “independent scholar” in the list of suggested topics hit me so hard that I immediately text Elizabeth and told her that I was certain this was something we should do. A few months later we had a proposal together with contributions lined up from a variety of scholars, only one of which I knew prior to this project’s start. Our writers came to us from a mix of personal relationships, answers to our call for papers, and positive responses to our solicitation emails. Along the way (as detailed in the book itself) we had some leave and some come in. Our foreword, amusingly, is by Ben Raphael Sher, who initially turned down our request that he write for us. In Independent Scholars Meet the World, we argue (I believe convincingly) that the qualifier of “independent” is unnecessary, because independent scholars are not the Other, they are not less-than, they are scholars of the same caliber as their counterparts who teach in the traditional higher education classroom. The difference is only that they lack a college or university affiliation. Independent scholars are researchers and teachers too, they just apply their scholarship to different audiences and in a wide variety of ways, and I am in awe of every one whose story I have had the privilege to read. Danielle Slaughter and Vay Cao created their own vibrant platforms (Mamademics and Free the PhD, respectively) to help others. Alison Innes and Katherine Anderson Howell reinvented themselves, moving from working within the traditional structure to using their skills in less-expected ways like social media management and fandom studies. Joshua Hevert discovered the good you can do teaching dual-credit high school. Valerie Schutte publishes traditional scholarship while doing the majority of her work from inside her house. Allyson Schettino rediscovered her love of history by entering museum education. Laura Macaluso works hands-on with public spaces and monuments, while Dayanna Knight makes historically-accurate coloring books. Beginning Independent Scholars Meet the World, I knew only the story of Footnoting History - how we turned our traditional academic training into a way to communicate the importance of history to a public audience. Completing Independent Scholars Meet the World, I know so much more. I now know that scholars are everywhere, even if they aren’t waving a banner declaring their expertise. I have learned to make sure I look beyond what I think someone is doing to see what is actually going on underneath. I make sure to offer my own resources when someone else appears to be in need of something that they cannot access. I no longer doubt myself as much as I used to, because there is a wide-ranging, vibrant community of people out there who, like me, want to engage with their fields but not in the way that was expected of them when they entered grad school. I cannot adequately express how moved I am by the dedication these scholars have shown to their work regardless of what life has thrown at them and how inspired I am by their willingness to share their stories. What you see as a scholar’s output is nothing more than the tip of their personal iceberg. Independent Scholars Meet the World does more than just share stories of jobs some might consider out-of-the-box. It lifts the curtain and shows you the human spirit behind it, and how much heart it takes to succeed and thrive when others tell you that you have “left” academia. I look forward to seeing what else comes from these wonderful humans. So, to all the independent scholars I have had the privilege to work with I say thank you, because as much as I hope sharing your stories will have a positive impact on others, I already know that it has had a positive impact on me. And as for all the independent scholars I do not yet know, I cannot wait to meet you. -- Independent Scholars Meet the World (University Press of Kansas, 2020) can be purchased here. Use code MYBOOK for 30% off and free US Domestic shipping through December 16, 2020.

As you may or may not know, September is PCOS Awareness Month and I have been dealing with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, defined by the Mayo Clinic as “a hormonal disorder common among women of reproductive age”) for many years. So, I like to pause my usual monthly content (podcasting! history! theater!) to share updates on my life with PCOS whenever September rolls around. Last year, in this post, I outlined my history with PCOS and what it was like to deal with multiple medical professionals while trying to get this hormone disaster under control. At the end of the post, I talked about my work with a lovely nutritionist who was doing her best to help me. We were a year into the process and had no success, despite her best efforts, yet I was still hopeful. Well, dear Reader, I am here to tell you that things did not get better. In fact, they got significantly worse but, they hopefully will get better now. I think quite a few folks with PCOS will understand this, and people without PCOS might appreciate some more insight into how this largely invisible medical situation impacts the daily lives of those who have it: The month after I wrote about my hopes the new plan with my nutritionist (hereafter, 1.0) would be a game changer, I still had no results other than a weekly one pound fluctuation at most. Then, she got promoted at her main job in a hospital and left the practice. I was so stressed and upset that I had been diligently following her guidance for over a year and had nothing to show for it that I waited a few weeks before meeting with her replacement (hereafter, 2.0). In those weeks I definitely gave up. I exercised less, I ate whatever I wanted, and nothing happened. By the time I went to meet 2.0 I had gained about a pound, but I was so used to this up and down of minimal weight that I barely blinked at it. In fact, I was more upset than normal, because I realized how little all my efforts had actually done to change my body externally. 2.0 was kind and also a personal trainer, but she definitely believed that 1.0 had steered me wrong, not focused enough on the kind of exercise I should be doing, and that she would personally fix me, and fix me quickly. She attacked pretty much everything 1.0 had told me to do, but then I noticed that over all, her concepts were still the same: exercise (she gave me specific workouts, mostly strength training, while 1.0 emphasized HIIT), carb cutting, and eating small meals throughout the day while avoiding overly processed or sugary foods. As you can probably guess, my result continued to be 0 change and feeling increasingly stressed and frustrated. In December, I decided it was time to get my thyroid tested - a suggestion made by many people I knew and 1.0 before she left. My Primary Physician had the labs done and told me that although she thought my thyroid looked fine, I should go to an endocrinologist for further testing. She promised everything would get sorted eventually and urged me to keep watching my sugar intake, not eat many carbs, and to continue regular exercise. I dutifully nodded and went on my way, depressed that the lack of an answer in terms of my thyroid left me in the same spot I was in before. January of 2020 came around and I met with my endocrinologist who ordered a full panel of hormone testing. I'm talking everything from vitamins to adrenals. I learned that hey, guess what, my thyroid was basically doing nothing. I also learned I had high testosterone and DHEA-S, among other things. I had no idea what most of this meant, but I was told they were normal for people with PCOS and I was put on a small dose of a thyroid medication to try and kick it into gear and given Metformin to try and help with the insulin resistance situation that often comes with PCOS. Then the pandemic hit New York. Everything, including my endocrinologist's office, closed down for in-person appointments. My stress levels (shocking no one) spiked like crazy, and I spent all of my time huddled at home - or at least most of it. I told myself that this was the perfect opportunity to get my PCOS under control. I reassessed all the information I had been given by everyone I'd worked with so far. I implemented daily (masked) walks, usually of about 6 miles. I had my carbs incredibly low, my calories where I had been told they should be, and added in weight training. I was ready to go and attack it full on, and I hoped maybe my thyroid medication or the Metformin would help. The thyroid medication immediately lifted my depression. I hadn't even known it was a symptom of hypothyroidism until it went away. It did little else. Two months ago I had the dosage upped and I'll be reassessed again soon. The Metformin made me horrifically sick. I had been warned that it could cause an upset stomach, but I didn't know just how upset it would be. I was in and out of the bathroom every hour and in terrible pain for days. Just when the pain would start to ease, I'd have to take it again and bring it right back. I did not last long on it. I had to stop it when it became clear my body would not adjust, and this would not get better, it was only compounding and getting worse. I loved my walks. I liked my strength training. I was used to monitoring everything I ate. I felt like I was really tackling this in the best way. Well, Reader, I gained 15 lbs. The weight just kept coming. I was behaving in a "healthier" way than I had in ages, with more time to dedicate to it than ever before, and I was now heavier than I had ever been in my life. (Spoiler alert: this remains true.) Nothing fits me nicely anymore, even my rings are too small. People tell me I "look great" but it just serves to make me feel more miserable. I don't think body shaming is right, but I don't think telling someone there isn't a problem when they're unhappy in their skin is right either. It doesn't help you feel supported when the world is saying "just be happy as you are" when "as you are" is completely without any control over your body and the situation is continually getting worse. Somewhere around this time my mother pointed out that she was certain stress was what was causing this explosion of weight. I had always gotten heavier the more stressed I was: the first time I gained significant weight was in 2004 when my grandmother died and I was also transferring colleges. I lost that and became happier and healthier than ever. Then in 2016, as I mentioned in last year's post, the disintegration of a long-term friendship triggered my body to go off the rails again. I'm still, in 2020, trying to work that all off. Only now you can add to it job insecurity (pre-pandemic), unhappiness with the weight gain and therefore body image issues, and finally, the onset of COVID-19 and the myriad other stresses that came with the arrival of the pandemic. I don't remember when I started following Martha McKittrick (aka The PCOS Dietitian) on Instagram, but it was sometime in 2019 when I was still working with 1.0. It wasn't until this year, though that I really started to read her posts. I used to be someone skeptical of what people put online. After all, I'm a historian. I constantly see people present themselves as authorities online when it is clear to actual historians that they know nothing about their alleged fields of focus. But I always liked her posts because she very obviously cared about what she was doing and was passionate about helping people with PCOS. At some point, she did an Instagram post about exercise and I saw among her own words and then interactions with people commenting, a mention of how certain exercises could irritate PCOS symptoms instead of help them. Specifically, something intense like HIIT might not be good for a woman who had high DHEA-S. I have, as of my last blood work, quite high DHEA-S. I had also asked every single medical professional I met with thus far if they could explain to me why when I exercised as instructed, my weight always (without fail) went up and then went down when I did less. Each and every one told me that wasn't possible and I was just noticing a coincidence. I had never felt more validated in my life as I did in the moment I discovered I was not wrong. It was the first time I ever saw someone make the correlation between a specific part of my blood work and how it could impact what was happening in my body. I commented on Martha's post and was thrilled when she told me I was not wrong, I had just likely been dealing with people who did not actually know much about PCOS. I almost cried I was so happy to be understood. This launched me into a deep dig through her posts and the more I read, the more seen I felt. I learned about how with my particular kind of PCOS I was doing things all wrong. I was stressing my body constantly, on top of being stressed out mentally for multiple years. Everything about me was out of balance and the ways I had been told to treat it were actually most likely making it significantly worse. I discovered how my constant state of being on edge was not necessarily normal and that yes, even what I thought was just my natural state of being a night owl (I am often awake and alert and productive all night, only to go to bed around 7 am and pass out until about 2 pm) could be connected to my cortisol (read: stress hormone) levels. I found ways to help with stress (Kendra Tolbert's yoga videos are my favorite - I can follow them easily, they are geared toward PCOS, and I can do them at home so no one can see my struggle with Downward Dog), am learning the plate method for eating, and trying to undo the fear of carbs and calories so embedded in me by my past experiences. 2020 has been a year from hell, but without the time to dedicate myself to getting better, then actually getting worse, and being driven to the experts for help, maybe something good will come from it. The hardest thing right now is accepting how much time it is going to take for my body to heal and cooperate. But I am armed with more specific, appropriate information than I ever thought possible. I have learned that just because someone says they work with PCOS patients (and warning: a LOT of doctors/dietitians/nutritionists will say they do), doesn't mean that they actually know much about PCOS but, if you're like me, you want to believe them and you have no reason not to until everything they say is shown to not work. PCOS is complex and it presents totally differently in each woman. Prior to my deep dive into PCOS Instagram, I didn't even know there was a need to identify my root cause and I had been living with - and attempting to get help with - PCOS for over a decade. I hate how common it is for people with PCOS to have to ride these waves to try and find help and how, despite the high numbers of us with it, so many medical professionals appear to devote little time to investigating the details of it in order to truly help their patients. Not everyone can take a pill and mask symptoms and be happy or cut carbs and lose weight. Some don't even need to lose weight at all. There is a lot of work to be done to get the good, individualized care plans out there, but I am so glad I started paying attention to PCOS Instagram, because it has been a source of support and help that I never thought I'd find and it makes things a little less lonely. My hope this September is different from my hope last September. Last September it was a hope grounded in desperation. This September it is one grounded in education. I like this one better, I just wish I found it sooner. As they say in Pokemon, the journey continues. A Few of My Favorite Accounts These links are all to Instagram accounts, because I've found the mixture of visuals, text, and video they all use to be incredibly helpful. Most of them have websites with blogs as well, and all have content that has helped me at various points. Martha McKittrick RD, The PCOS Dietitian Kendra Tolbert, MS, RD, RYT, PCOS Dietitian and Yoga Instructor PCOS Nutrition Center PCOS Challenge: The National Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Association Letisha Bates, RHC, That PCOS Coach Genevieve Sanders, MS, RDN Sam, Registered Dietitian, PCOS Nutritionist Melissa Groves Azzaro, RDN, LD, The Hormone Dietitian

Podcasting, despite appearances, is very rarely a field where one works in complete isolation. It is true that at the beginning, especially if you are not working with a team, you may feel like you are completely on your own. But, if you stay with podcasting long enough you will inevitably cross paths with other podcasters. This could come in the form of anything from collaboration requests to encounters at conferences or through various social media platforms. Just like in any other field, to grow your podcast, you will end up networking. However, with indie podcasting you tend to have more control over how you network than you might when employed by a larger company. No boss is going to tell you that you must go to this event or you must wine and dine that person, because you are your own boss. Regardless of your chosen method of interaction, you're going to want to put your best foot forward. Here are some things to keep in mind when you begin interacting with your podcasting peers: You are the embodiment of your podcast. No matter where you are, if people know you are a podcaster, you are going to be seen as a representative of your podcast. If it is listed in your social media bio or on your name tag, the people you talk to will have their impressions of you as a person in their mind the next time they encounter your work. If you use your podcast's social media account to chat with people, this is doubly true because every single time your comments pop up in someone's feed they will also be hit with your branding. To every person reading this, what counts as acceptable to say and do is going to be different, and that's okay. Just make sure you know what you want people to associate with your podcast through the way you present yourself both on and off the internet. Do your research. If you are initiating contact, know who you're contacting. I can't tell you how many times we have gotten solicitation emails that begin "Dear Footnoting," and never once attempt to show that the writer has a clue who we are. Meanwhile, there is a full page of bios and titles on the Footnoting History website. We've also had people write to us proposing collaborations that don't have topics remotely aligned with what we do. We've had many great interactions that began with being cold contacted by other podcasters, but you are going to look better and have a higher chance of a positive response from someone if you show them you know who they are and are contacting them because their specific work appeals to you. Be prepared. At first glance, this might appear the same as 'do your research', but I apply this specific point to a different aspect of podcasting. If you are being interviewed for a podcast or you are conducting an interview, or if you are giving any form of talk or having any kind of interaction that you know about ahead of time, show up ready to go. It is always better to be overly prepared than unprepared. If you're on a panel, your fellow panelists will appreciate it if you have your presentation planned and stick to your allotted time. If you know the topic you will talk about in an interview, prep on it beforehand and don't be afraid to have notes in front of you when you record. If you're conducting the interview, get to know a bit about the person behind the the other microphone before you talk to them. If you're ready to work, you're going to get a reputation for being a team player who cares about what you're doing and is a good asset to any project. Be helpful. All podcasters were beginners once and even those who have been at it a long time will have a period of struggle. If you see someone struggling and you have the ability to offer them a figurative hand to pull them up, by all means do it. However, it should be noted, that a public correction or scolding is not really a great look except for in extreme cases, so take care before you start offering criticism unsolicited. Few people enjoy getting a "well, actually..." so always pause before you tweet and ask yourself if you are being helpful and whether or not giving an opinion, correction, or critique would be best expressed through private DM instead of on a public forum of any kind. You don't have to like everyone. You will not like every other podcaster you encounter. You do not have to work with people you don't like. You do not have to be friends with people you don't like. At the same time, no one else is required to work with you. Keeping your distance is perfectly understandable. Be courteous. "Please" and "thank you" can go a long way. So can "I'm sorry." If you're working with someone else and they expect something of you that you realize you cannot do, it does not make you appear weak to say "I'm sorry". It shows that you value the other person's time, made your best attempt to fulfill your end of the bargain, and regret causing any difficulty to their work. Complimentary to that, if someone is an excellent co-worker or colleague, or if they help you in some way, thank them. Let them know you appreciate them. Remember others have value. Try to make sure that you give your peers the respect they deserve. Sometimes podcasters can get so obsessed with promoting themselves that they forget to share the love. Always do what you can to promote the people who have helped you or whose work you just happen to like. Leave the reviews you want others to leave for you. Spread the love. Be honest. It is okay to admit you don't know something. It is okay to say you cannot do something. It is okay to tell your guest or the person interviewing you that you had a recording problem. It is okay to tell them that something went awry and the episode is going to be late or not air. It is okay to have to cancel an event or to ask for more time on a project. The people on the receiving end of whatever news you need to share with them will be infinitely more receptive and forgiving if you are completely honest with them about it from the start. It's harder to clean up a mess when everyone involved knows it could have been avoided with a bit of honesty at the beginning. Be sincere. Quite simply, no one likes a faker. It's important to cultivate an image and a reputation, yes, but make sure that your image and reputation are genuine. People will be able to tell if you don't really care about them or if you preach things you don't do yourself. Even if you think you've fooled them, it will eventually come out. Have fun. There is a lot of competition in the podcasting community, even from people who claim otherwise, but you shouldn't enter every interaction trying to weigh whose podcast is more important or more influential all the time. It's okay to just be friends with your peers. Laughing with people can foster community and no one will understand the unique struggles of being a podcaster like another podcaster. Entering into all your interactions with an open mind and a sense of humor will help you go far. Podcasting can seem like an informal field. You can do it alone, in your house, while wearing pajamas, but there are real people behind it. It can be a good community or a bad one, depending on how you approach it. You don't need a suit and tie or a lot of money to be well-received by your peers, but a good attitude and a clear vision of how you want to be treated that guides how you treat others will set you on the path toward building a network of friends and contacts that you won't regret making. Happy podcasting!

Hello friends, followers, and readers! Happy 14 Juillet, also known as France's National Day or Bastille Day depending on who is speaking to you. It will surprise no one that I have a lifelong love of France, so naturally I decided to combine that with my love of musicals for this post. Below, you will find a list of 14+ musicals set in France. They span location, time period, and topic, so there should be something for everyone, and they have all released cast recordings which means hopefully you will be able to find them and add them to your listening rotation. Most of these are staples on my playlists all year, every year, so I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Vive la France! Les Miserables This classic 1980s adaptation of Victor Hugo's 1862 novel likely needs little explanation, but here it goes: it follows the life of a man named Jean Valjean from approximately 1815 to 1832. He is released from prison, but breaks his parole and spends much of his life running from Javert, a man who wants to send him back to pay the price for what he did. Along the way Valjean improves his life, takes a child named Cosette in as his daughter, and saves Cosette's beloved from death during an ill-fated rising in Paris (which, it should be noted, is not the French Revolution of the 1780s and 1790s, we are many decades later). At the center of the creation of this musical are Claude-Michel Schönberg and Alain Boublil, and because of them we have songs like "One Day More", "Do You Hear the People Sing?", and "I Dreamed a Dream". I own dozens of cast recordings of Les Miserables, in many languages, but the 10th anniversary concert from London will always be my favorite. If nothing else, I highly suggest checking out the video below that shows men who played Jean Valjean around the world sing "Do You Hear the People Sing?" in the languages of their productions: Martin Guerre This musical from the 1990s (also with Claude-Michel Schönberg and Alain Boublil heavily involved in its creation) is inspired by the story of a man who lived in the 16th century. In this incarnation of his tale, Martin Guerre is believed dead after participating in a battle. Another man, pretending to be him, comes to Guerre's village and takes over his role in Guerre's family. However, the man is found out to be an impostor AND Guerre returns. What could possibly go wrong? One of my favorite songs from this show is "I'm Martin Guerre": Gigi Gigi was a 1944 novel that then became a musical film in the 1950s and a stage musical in the 1970s. On Broadway, it was most-recently revived in 2015 where it starred Vanessa Hudgens as the titular Gigi. Set at the turn of the 20th century, Gigi is a young woman raised in a family where the tradition is to become a courtesan. Gigi does not thrill on this future and, naturally, drama ensues. The show features a delightful Lerner and Loewe score that includes "The Night They Invented Champagne". Dirty Rotten Scoundrels This musical is all about the comedy. With music and lyrics by David Yazbeck, this is another adaptation of a film - this time a film from 1988. It is a giddy piece set in the French Riviera where a pair of con men set their sights on someone they think should be an easy mark: Christine Colgate, the "American Soap Queen", but it turns out to be a more difficult task than they imagined. Check out Norbert Leo Butz, who won the Tony for his performance, sing "Great Big Stuff" at the Tony Awards: Notre-Dame de Paris and Hunchback of Notre Dame Two adaptations of Victor Hugo's novel Notre-Dame de Paris with very different vibes. The first version, Notre-Dame de Paris, has been done in both French and English, and has entirely original music. The Hunchback of Notre Dame may seem more familiar to English-speaking audiences as it utilizes music from the Disney film. I, however, am going to tell you that you absolutely must hear "Belle" from Notre-Dame de Paris: The Phantom of the Opera and Phantom Again, two adaptations of the same story (a novel by Gaston Leroux) about a young woman named Christine Daae who becomes entangled with the so-called phantom of the Opera. One, The Phantom of the Opera, is currently Broadway's longest-running musical. It was composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber and gave the world songs like "Masquerade" and "Music of the Night". The other, Phantom, was composed by Maury Yeston and although it is overshadowed by Webber's version, it is beloved by many a theater performer for songs like "This Place is Mine" and "My True Love". A Tale of Two Cities Perhaps the most appropriate listen on July 14th, A Tale of Two Cities is an adaptation of the Charles Dickens novel about the French Revolution (the two cities being London and Paris) by Jill Santoriello. Moulin Rouge! One of only two musicals on the list that was currently on Broadway when things shut down due to COVID-19, Moulin Rouge! is an adaptation of the film from 2001. The story centers around the Moulin Rouge cabaret in Paris and the love story between a young man named Christian and a performer named Satine. It must be noted that, like the film, popular music is used as opposed to an original score and some of the selections (like Katy Perry's "Firework") were not in the film. Amélie I know, there are so many film adaptations on this list, and here is yet another one. The short-lived Broadway production of Amélie starred Phillipa Soo as a shy young woman who wants to make things better for all the people around her. It has often been described as 'whimsical', and I agree so much with the selection of that word that I won't try and come up with something different. An American in Paris Based on the film of the same name from 1951, An American in Paris is an adaptation from the 2010s. This production uses famous Gershwin songs like "I Got Rhythm" and "They Can't Take That Away from Me" to tell the story of an American soldier who decides to remain in Paris following the end of World War II. La Cage aux Folles La Cage aux Folles is a Jerry Herman-Harvey Fierstein musical based on the play of the same name. It follows a gay couple (Georges and Albin) who have raised a son together and are now faced with meeting his fiancee's family. You may recognize the plot because it also was used for the film The Birdcage. If you ever need to feel better about yourself, I highly suggest singing along to "I am What I am": Sunday in the Park with George This Stephen Sondheim musical from the 1980s is always being revived in various places, and with good reason: it is a beautiful piece imagining the period in the late 1800s when Georges Seurat was creating his famous painting A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. See Mandy Patinkin, Bernadette Peters, and the cast perform at the 1984 Tony Awards: Amour An underrated little gem of a musical that is based on a short story about a man in France after World War II who discovers he can walk through walls. As you can imagine, this development has wide-ranging impact on his life and the lives of those around him - including his love interest, Isabelle. Beauty and the Beast The first Broadway musical I ever saw, back in 1995, this is exactly what you think it is - a stage production of the Disney film Beauty and the Beast. Only, in my opinion, it wipes the floor with the animated version. Why? Songs like "If I Can't Love Her" and "Me", which were added to expand the stage version beyond just the film score, make Belle, Gaston, the Beast and others even richer characters. I saved this one for last since it is the musical that made me fall in love with Broadway.

Last night, I wondered how many people would find it interesting that I wrote the first draft of my upcoming Footnoting History episode about Charles Stewart Parnell and Katharine O'Shea by hand, with a pen containing purple ink and decorated with yellow pieces of candy. I think people must be curious, because I often get asked about how I approach podcasting. As a result, back in 2018, I hosted a series of guest blog posts written by some pretty wonderful folks in the history podcasting world. Called #PodcastingHistory, it chronicled the process each of these people used to create one episode of their podcast, and they all did a great job. (Should I host another round of this? Hmm...) Yet, there is so much about podcast creating that I didn't mention in my own piece for that series. Over the past 7+ years, I've developed a true system for episode creation. Below are the ten steps (or perhaps 'phases' is a better term) of my process: the good, the bad, and the stress-filled. If you are a podcaster, maybe you'll identify with this. If you're not, maybe it'll be interesting to see how one person's process works. Either way, I hope you enjoy it - and don't judge me too harshly. Get inspired. One of the best things about Footnoting History, is that we don't have a specific theme. This means I can alternate between discussing things that I already specialize in and things I am learning about from scratch. Plus, because we have multiple hosts, I never have to cover a topic that doesn't interest me. I started a list of potential topics in 2013 when we first started and only about 20% of them have been done. (A Royal Son: Henry the Young King and The Unquiet Afterlife of Elizabeth Siddal, came from this original list.) Mostly though, I do whatever piques my interest in a given moment. For example, Gustav III was the result of accidentally stumbling across his death story when researching On This Day posts for Twitter, Pocahontas came from my desire to cover something from Disney, and Jumbo the Elephant combined my interest in elephants and love of the score from The Greatest Showman. Whether or not I will act on my desire to cover a topic generally boils down to this: Do I have enough time to research something brand new or should I stick to what I already know? How readily available and accessible are sources? Will I be excited to discuss it? Create a bibliography. I live for creating bibliographies. I love every minute of it. I start with anything I already own, or that was written by the person I'm covering (memoirs are my favorite historical sources, hands down) then turn to places like WorldCat and reviews in journals to decide what books I'll need. I find immense value in scholarly articles, because often they will focus specifically on my desired aspect of a topic, so I consult databases like JSTOR and see what's going on there. Another source I love is a newspaper or other periodical. If I'm covering something that I know would have been in the papers of the time, you know I'll end up with at least one or two of those cited. I admit I have some of the longer Further Reading sections on the Footnoting History site, but I don't regret it - and I don't even usually list every source I've consulted. For me, a project isn't real until I've created my bibliography, because it provides a guide. Once I know what's out there, I can begin my research. Then I can add and remove things from it as I work and learn what sources actually were useful as opposed to once I thought might be before I consulted them. Craft my title and blurb, then find a corresponding image. I'm listing this separately, but it often happens at the same time as the bibliography, because I like to know my focus as much as possible before I begin. It's surprisingly a lot of work to nail what you want to say. I aim to express what will be discussed without telling you everything in advance. It's more like writing a very short blurb for the back of a book than it is writing an academic abstract. The images we use are public domain or photographs we took ourselves. I adore a good deep dive into public domain images and have collected a massive folder of links to databases of them over time. You'll often find multiple additional images in the blog posts for my episodes because I find it so hard to narrow it down to just one. Images from the past can really make a story hit home, and I want to give people as much of a full picture of it as I can. Spend roughly 6-8 weeks researching. There have been times when I had to push an episode out quickly, usually if I am covering for someone else who discovered they wouldn't be able to complete theirs in time. In those cases I definitely insert a topic where I already have a lot of knowledge. However, for a normal situation, I follow a specific process: -Set up a new notebook (if the topics are related, I will continue in a notebook from an old episode, but it is rare that I end up without my notebook full by the end of researching one). Each new source gets a page tab to mark it, then I put the number of the source on the top of the page, with the title and author. When the notebook is full (or my work is complete for the topic) I make a list of all the sources in it and attach it to the inside cover of the notebook. -First articles, then books. I start with articles because I can move through them faster than books, which makes me feel like I'm making progress, and I get a good overview of the topic before going into the details. -Get grumpy when a source I thought was going to be useful isn't, and then get happy when one I didn't think would be great actually is. -Frantically text my friends because I have discovered something exciting. -Realize I have taken far too many notes and won't be able to use (or don't need to use) at least half of it in the episode. I hate having to read a book twice, so I prefer to outline a source in its entirety. Then, if I need it again later for any reason, I can go straight to my notebook. For my upcoming Parnell episode, I tried a different approach. I outlined articles like normal and then read through books, marking pertinent passages as opposed to stopping to constantly write. The lead image for this podcast shows how that turned out. Did I read the books faster? Yes. Did it make writing the episode much more difficult? Also yes. It turns out that the way I retain information has not changed since I was in school. I need to write things down to recall them later on. Write the script - by hand. I think better when I have a pen in my hand. I'll shut the bedroom door, then plant myself on my bed with my notebook and all the books and articles so I can reference them while I write. I'll open another notebook (I own many notebooks) and start drafting it. At some point, I realize that at the rate I'm going the episode will be 100 minutes long and full of rambling. Even though this happens every time, I will momentarily get down about it and frustrated. Then I'll go for a walk or watch television and suddenly have an epiphany about how I want the episode to go. I've taken to thinking of this portion of my process as the Vomit Draft. I have to spew out all the complicated details in order to figure out what I need to keep, what can get cut, and how to synthesize everything down to the standard 15-25 minutes. Rewrite the script - on the computer. Once my epiphany has occurred, I sit at the computer and churn out the script with quite a bit of speed. I write in Word (or Google Docs) with a Times New Roman font, 12pt, and double spaced, because with those settings I know each page amounts to two minutes. At this point, I know what I want to say enough that I can write the entire thing without reference. Then I go back and fill in any gaps from my memory by referring to my notebook - which is basically a topic Bible. I always have at least a few details that need to get cut for time, but mostly when I go back through the typed script I can tighten my language enough that 90% of the information gets to stay. Obsessively pour over each detail. The phase between writing and recording is the most intense, because my obsessive nature and need for perfection come into play. I get incredibly stressed and usually become friends with my eye drops. I print the script out and go through it with a pen, rewording things, adding definitions, etc. Then I incorporate those changes into the Word document and print it out again. The next step is that I go through it and highlight every single date in the episode. Why? First, so I can verify each one and make sure I didn't make an error. Second, because once when we first started I accidentally transposed the numbers in a year. I was horrified when I realized it after the episode was already released, but I did change it and re-upload the episode so no one would have the incorrect date now. If I highlight the dates in the script I know to pay special attention to them when I'm recording. Finally, I go through the script with my notes side-by-side. I'll put check marks over each thing in the script as I verify it with my notes. Sometimes I'll go through this process twice. I don't feel ready to record until I've done it. Investigate pronunciations. I have never met someone who could correctly pronounce my surname without my guidance. I have, however, met many people who have brazenly told me the way I say my own name (which is Italian, but with an Americanized pronunciation) incorrectly. It's bothered me since the dawn of time, and it means a lot to me to make sure I get the names of my subjects correct. Typically, I begin with identifying names of people and places that I don't already know how to say. Sometimes I'll ask my friends. In other cases, I turn to YouTube. I can't tell you the amount of hours I've spent over the years looking for local news coverage where people from the region can be heard saying place names. Online documentaries or lectures have helped me with people's names, too. But sometimes (as the Parnell episode will show) I learn how a historical figure would have said their name directly from the actual person - which brings me great joy. There have been times I've made mistakes (like when I learned St. Augustine, Florida was not pronounced the way I thought) and re-recorded to correct it and others when a non-American pronunciation has tripped me up, but I still try my best, because I want to do right by my subjects and I hope others would do the same for me. Record episode, and do minor edits. Recording is the easy part. I set up at my PC with my Blue Yeti mic and pop filter. I have a bottle of water at my side, close my window and door to limit outside noise, and kick my family out of the house, promising to text them when I'm done. (Now that we're quarantined, I just make them promise not to do anything other than read or nap while I record.) I use Audacity and always record an episode twice, though I usually end up using the first take. I don't stop until I finish the entire script, and if I mess up, I just take a breath and start from the beginning of the section again. Sometimes I change sentences as I go, usually because I've written something that sucks the breath out of you when you say it aloud but reads fine. When I'm done, I listen to both takes to see which one I like better. Then I go through it and remove all the times I messed up so it is clean. Once that is done, I play the episode straight through, script in hand, following along to make sure I got everything right and don't need to record again because I misspoke. Pass recording to Elizabeth, accompanied by email expressing Impostor Syndrome. Sending the episode to Elizabeth, the Footnoting History founder, is great because it means I stop tinkering with it. She will then listen to it, clean up anything I missed, and add our theme music. I always include a message in my email about how I love the topic and hope I did it justice. It's difficult to take massive topics and cut them down to bite-sized chunks while still conveying as much of the complexity as you can. I love my topics, and I want them to be represented in the best possible fashion. Once the file is out of my hands, and I've added my printed script to the binder where I keep one hard copy of each episode I do, I feel human again. My shoulders relax. I take a break of a few days before considering my next topic and read a book for fun or (as my Twitter followers know) watch a lot of television. I must admit, my nerves resurface the day it is released, because I want other people to like listening to my episode as much as I like creating it. I love history, and every time I send a bit more of it into the world I feel like I'm watching another History Baby take flight. I'm known for biographical episodes, and there's a reason for that. I love humans and their life stories and I think we are better off for knowing them. I don't have to agree with (or even like) a subject personally in order to find the story fascinating and worth covering. Now you know the steps that I take over the span of a few months to create an episode you can listen to in under half of an hour. It's a little bit crazy, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I send you my best wishes, warmest regards, and hope this finds you safe and well.

In recent weeks it has been difficult to determine what to discuss in my monthly blog post because everything I came up with felt unimportant in this COVID-19 world. Then, last night, it occurred to me that there is something I need to get off my chest. It is trivial in the grand scheme of things, but also timely because as social distancing continues, it has become more and more of a common. I’ve decided to share it because maybe someone, somewhere feels the same way. You see, I hate video chats. I always have. I always will. There’s a reason I write a blog and host a podcast. It isn’t that I hate cameras. I love having my picture taken (I’m vain that way) and I like being filmed (I have literally worked in front of a camera for a decade now). It's that live video chatting makes me feel awkward, uncomfortable, unnatural, and unhappy. I remember when webcams first became popular sometime around the end of the last century and the beginning of this one. I was one of those teens who thought it would be so cool to have one and then sat it on my desk where it looked like a little grey eyeball waiting to show me to the world. But I never used it. Actually, that’s not true. I used it approximately two times to talk to my internet friend in the UK, but after the novelty of “oh that’s what she looks like!” wore off, we reverted right back to our AIM chat windows. (I still miss AIM.) Then I used it a few times to take what we would now call selfies because I liked the idea that I could be my own photographer and immediately see the results. Even that faded out eventually. Modern Day Me purposely doesn’t have a camera on her desktop computer and loves it that way. I also don’t have FaceTime or Skype and I’ve only used Zoom when my friend invites me to a Zoom chat because we need to have a professional meeting. Even then, I pray someone – anyone – in the chat will suggest we all turn off the video monitor. In order for me to even participate I have to pull out my relic of a laptop that has a built-in camera. I do it, because it’s necessary, but I don’t enjoy it. Now, as more and more events are moving online out of necessity and many friends of mine talk about virtual happy hours or post screenshots of how many people they have video chatting at one time, I wonder if I’m the only person whose anxiety spikes when the video chat option gets mentioned. I always feel like I’m in some sort of weird cage when video chatting that’s even worse than when I’m on a phone. I have to sit in a chair and stare at a screen while everyone else stares at me staring at them. Someone's volume is always wonky. Someone else gets distracted. Yet another person talks too much or not enough. If you do too many other things while chatting, it can appear rude – and I’ve seen some rude things during video chats that I haven’t forgotten, so I go out of my way not to be That Person, but I'm sure I annoy people all the time in my own way. The whole experience causes me to feel constrained, weirdly vulnerable, and like I'm being dissected, even if that isn’t the case. Call me weird, but I don't enjoy feeling my stomach clench and my shoulders tense. Beforehand my anxiety means that I frantically go through the routine of visiting the person – fully dressed, wearing makeup – but with added twists like telling everyone in my house they need to stay away from the room and then frantically checking out everything that might show up behind me to make sure it looks neat enough. Then I spend a good portion of the chat wondering how many of the other people involved in it also wish we were in our comfortable pajamas, hair unbrushed or in a messy bun, no makeup, and whatever the heck we want around us. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the use of it and don't begrudge the people who love it. Professionally, sometimes it is necessary to see the other person, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Once things are established, in my mind, it can hopefully move to text-based conversation. Personally, especially now, a lot of my friends and family (especially if they live alone) are craving human contact, and in the absence of being able to get that in person, this is a great resource for them to have. For me though, the idea of video chatting comes with extra levels of anxiety and a prayer someone will cancel or at least suggest turning off the video portion of it. There’s a down side for everyone as far as social distancing is concerned, but what that down side is will be different for each person. For some it is a hatred of being stuck at home – I happen to love that, but if you told me I could not come home and had to stay out, I would be miserable. For those who hate being stuck at home, video chatting is a lifeline. For me, the downside of being at home is the constant threat that someone is going to ask me to video chat. Would I do it, if asked? Professionally, of course. Personally? Only if I have to. My preferred method of contact is always going to be texting or emailing. I’m the friend you have who says “if you call me, it better be an emergency” and who does everything she can to avoid making a professional call even if it will only take two minutes. But if you told me, at any point in my life prior to 2020, that I would miss phone calls because they’re starting to be replaced with an even more uncomfortable manifestation of using technology to communicate called video chatting, I would have laughed at you. The ultimate thing to know here though is that yes, friends and colleagues and readers, I absolutely am concerned about you and I love you and I want to hear how you’re doing and what’s filling your days. I’d just prefer you text, tweeted, or emailed me about it – and don't expect me to be a regular on YouTube or Instagram Stories or Facebook Live any time soon. Be Well. Be Safe. Stay Home.